5 Ways BDSM Fosters Personal Growth

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How BDSM fosters personal growth, awareness, and self improvement…

Within recent months there has been some press regarding psychology research that shows how practitioners of BDSM can have a healthier life outlook and mental resiliency than their non-practicing counterparts.  The lifestyle, as it’s often known, is not only fun but also requires personal growth and development of skills which are valuable to a healthy life.  Here are 5 ways BDSM fosters personal growth and personal development.

1.Tolerance

BDSM does not have any one “true” way.  Indeed, there are a myriad of activities and lifestyles which falls under a variety of kink practices, activities, and relationship models which we collectively call BDSM.  This includes how we identify ourselves with respect to our overall sexuality, orientation, gender identity, partner preferences, relationship dynamics, roles, and more.  Those new to BDSM will often find themselves equally relieved and challenged by the incredible acceptance of choices and self expression to be found.

2.MindfulnessSuccess

I use the word Mindfulness to mean increased self-awareness.  Engaging in the lifestyle requires a deeper understanding and self-awareness in order to express ourselves honestly to others and ensure our choices aren’t contradicting our values or capabilities. We need to look within and understand our desires and needs, being able to distinguish between the two, as well as our fears and inhibitions.  Without such, we risk potential harm to ourselves and others.  We also need to strive to listen more deeply to our own bodies so we can better self-regulate how we process experiences and communicate this to others responsibly.

3.Awareness

Here I use the word Awareness to mean increased perception of the world around us.  Developing an increased sense of awareness is required in how we listen to others, note and understand their words, nonverbal cues, and body language. BDSM also demands of us a heightened sense of kinesthetics, or movement within space and body, as well as the surrounding environment and the presence of others (situational awareness). The lifestyle requires a focus and being able to listen without interruption, so that we can share in an experience as well as truly appreciate the experience of others.

4.Communication

With mindfulness and awareness in hand, we should be able to better express ourselves openly and honestly, yet respectfully. Similarly, we are able to better listen to and understand the experiences or needs of others. Key to this practice is the emphasis of negotiation, consent, and use of safe-words or cues as a cooperative and collaborative flow of communication between partners. The practice of after-care and follow-up also requires we keep such dialog open so we can see how to improve or correct interactions between partners, and resolve differences or misunderstandings when they occur.

5.Consequences

Even with all this, BDSM requires we manage to the consequences of events and not fall back on defending intent.  Being aware of potential consequences helps us understand, accept and manage levels of risk to activity. Those in the lifestyle need to be acutely aware of the risks being taken, and ways to mitigate and choose the level of risk with which they are comfortable.  However, as much as the effort behind the intention or plans is important, the ability to deal with and manage the consequences is what can make a potential incident transform from tragedy to a rough patch in the road.

 

Learn more!

If you would like to learn more about personal development and self-improvement through BDSM, contact us directly or join us at a TES workshop in NYC on Dec, 8, 2015 – Hope to see you there !

You can also read more at these sources…

 

-Sir Vice
Copyright 2015 Limits Unleashed

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