Relationship dynamics such as D/s and poly are additional layers atop “vanilla” relationships, demanding skills that often go above and beyond the fundamentals issues found in basic relationships. In fact they often create far more problems than many believe they … Read More
Most of those new and interested in kinky things or BDSM start out feeling that they are somehow abnormal, unusually, weird or strange. That they are keeping some deep dark secret to their hidden sexual desires as they dream about … Read More
In a prior article I provided an introduction to the use of Protocols. In this post I will continue examining their use by looking at the different types of protocols expressed as a modality. To review briefly, what are protocols? … Read More
We concluded part 1 of The Nature of Fear with the idea that our instinct and intuition are often sending us fear signals that should be heeded, but are often rationalized away because we also fear their truth and the … Read More
What is fear, and how can we determine which of those feelings are signals from the instinctive or intuitive aspects of our motivation of self-preservation versus those that stem from reinforced pattern based behaviors? How many kinds of fear are … Read More
We are living in a time where there is a major culture change in the scene. The essence of this paradigm shift, in this authors humble opinion, stems from a change in values and priorities. Previously, the BDSM culture possessed … Read More
This is based on a discussion I’ve had often enough that I felt it was worth writing about. The question is simple: why don’t I do more (or like) public and pickup play? There’s no one origin for this, but … Read More
I have been to a good many munches in my time. Most of these have been very open, welcoming, and usually unstructured. The result was that sometimes these were really great experiences in getting to know a local community with … Read More
I recently had occasion to explain my views on Risk vs Regret awareness in a discussion, one that I thought was worth sharing with my broader reader base. As per usual this is not meant to be definitive or absolute, … Read More
I have become greatly disturbed by the lack of good ethics within the scene or BDSM lifestyle. I am horrified by the cruel and selfish needs of those who engage in predatory behavior, and those who excuse or defend it. … Read More