Class and workshop offerings by Sir Vice and his girl soumise appear below. All topics are intended to be given at group speaking engagements or lifestyle events with the goal of educating those exploring kink, BDSM, and power exchange lifestyles. Topics are designed for an approximately 90 min long presentation, which can be modified for either brevity or more in-depth exploration and increased practical exercises.
If you have questions as to any of the below, or would like to see a workshop developed for your group or event, please contact us by sending an email and we’ll do our best to address your needs as promptly as possible.
- Some classes will note any additional space requirements for full participation
- Workshops are designed for a duration of approximately 90 min but can be altered to suit your needs
- Our presentations are professionally crafted; access to a projector & screen is preferred unless otherwise noted.
- Speaker notes will be made available upon request and sent via email or provided as handouts
Topics are organized by subject matter tracks, which emphasizes the common theme of the presentations.
Power Exchange – The Power Exchange track is about exploring elements of power and control in Dominance and submission. Appropriate whether your goal is a long-term TPE relationship as Master or Mistress and slave, or wish to gain a deeper understanding behind the theory and practice of power exchange in play and short-term interactions.
Scene & Activity Techniques – Designed to be practical, these classes are designed to impart new skills and ideas to improve your play, scenes, and engagement. Includes use of tools, toys and gear; application techniques; body mechanics and physiology; planning & managing your scenes, etc.
Communication & Connection – This track addresses the root of all relationships, be they kink or vanilla, short or long term. All interpersonal interaction has its foundation, and often will live or die by how we connect to the other through how we communicate. These workshops are a good fit for improving how you connect, develop rapport, and communicate with others – especially your partner/s.
Mindfulness & Awareness – The Mindfulness & Awareness track aims to improve our sense of self awareness and understanding elements of human behavior. If you want to gain a deeper appreciation for yourself, or how others behave, these workshops will provide significant insight into the how’s and whys of people and our motives, drivers & fears, and our reactions or response choices.
Health & Wellness – The Health & Wellness track examines how we can better manage our overall welfare, especially when engaging in risky activities. Focus of these workshops is often on increased awareness of physical risks, avoid injury, how to enhance healing after play, or work around potential health limitations.
The submissive’s voice – All too often it seems most presentations are given by Dominants or Switches, but what about the expertise and experiences from the submissives direct perspective? This track puts Sir Vices very own soumise up on center stage to share her wisdom and expertise from the right side of the slash.
Other/Misc – Workshops that we feel offer a truly unique experience or a little unconventional, such Dancing, Fashion, and more…
*projector requested unless otherwise noted
Accepting Care from your Dominant
One core value in many power exchange relationships is responsible dominance, the benevolent care for our submissives, slaves, pets, and treasures. Since many s-types are driven to please and give, it can be challenging for them to accept their Dominants efforts. This workshop will discuss how to improve your ability to accept the protection, care, and treats from your Dominant with improved openness and grace.
Accepting Service from your submissive
In power exchange relationships, a highly prized trait in submissives is their giving/pleasing nature. However, Dominants are notoriously independent and stubborn beasts that don’t accept help easily. That situation can be a setup for failure and frustration in the dynamic. This workshop will discuss how to strengthen the dynamic by allowing for the submissives need to please, give, and support their Dominant.
Correction, Discipline & Punishment
This workshop will break down the differences between correction, discipline, punishment and “funishment”, as well as look at how humiliation may fit in. With exercises and participant discussion, discover why what works as punishment for one person might be fun or play for another. Learn how to create effective strategies that meet the needs of you and your partner(s). No partner is needed for this workshop.
Exploring Power Exchange
Power dynamics cover a spectrum of options from simple play or scenes to long-term total power exchange (TPE) relationships. This workshop will increase understanding of the presence and use of these dynamics, from speech and body language to more physical and pyscho-emotional means. Exercises to explore D/s and M/s ideas and strategies that can be used in a variety of settings and relationships will be introduced. Partners are welcome but not required.
Fear of Asking in submissives
Based on one of our most popular articles on Fetlife and the web, this workshop explores how making requests, asking, begging, and even using safe words can be one of the most difficult challenges for a submissive or slave. More importantly, we take a deeper look at key motives for these challenges, and how to overcome them.
All relationships have their challenges, and for some the idea of D/s and M/s seems like a great fix all to their prior relationship woes. However it’s just another layer and dimension of complexity beyond the vanilla relationship. This shared discussion will address the ups and downs of M/s relationships and solicit the group for ideas and creative thinking. Bring your both your ideas, challenges, and experiences for a highly interactive discussion. Moderated Group Discussion. Projector not required.
What it is Ownership, why do some seek or crave it, and what does it imply? In the BDSM lifestyle, D/s relationships often work towards developing a sense of ownership for a variety of reasons important to the dominant and submissive. This session will explore the concept of ownership as well as the emotional draw and consequences of fostering a sense of ownership emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
Ownership 201 – Deepening Bonds
Continuing from the popular Ownership 101 class, this workshop dives deeper for those more experienced in how to manage the challenges in power exchange relationships and ownership based dynamics. From methods to strengthen the sense of ownership, to dealing with the challenges of ownership. Not feeling owned enough? Feeling oversubscribed and stressed out? Losing your sense of personal style? Is it all work and no fun? This class should help with interactive scenarios and work-shopping.
Power Exchange as Mutual Giving
When we choose to develop a connection and have adequately defined it, all parties must feed it so that it remains healthy, living, and vital. It cannot be understated how important that all parties are Giving according to their nature to create something healthy, balanced, and that grows and matures so all involved may benefit from it. This workshop will explore the activities in power exchange dynamics in the lifestyle, and how can we be more aware of how we engage the other as part of a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
Protocols 101 – Foundations
Protocols are a common feature in power exchange relationships. This workshop reviews how they are used to build and maintain a strong household and relationship with your submissive or slave. Explore how daily habits, rules, and forms can train, educate, and promote a strong sense of wellbeing, ownership, and commitment.
Protocols 201 – Charm School
You want a sub or slave who represents you well. This class is designed to give both D & s-types ideas and exercises to use as part of the training process. If you are looking to take service and power exchange to next level with class and style, this is for you. This workshop continues from the prior Protocols class and focuses on refinement of foundations in service, demeanor, and elements of High Protocol.
Postures for s-types
A frequent part of a power exchange relationship is training the submissive in the use of postures and positions that reinforce a submissive attitude or relationship to their Dominant. This includes various types of kneeling, sitting, laying, standing, and walking. For those that wish to actively participate, it’s suggested you wear appropriate clothes or those that allow for full range of movement.
Rituals in Power Exchange
The use of certain rituals in power exchange relationship is a very personal choice. This class explores the inner workings of ritual, how they work, how to put them to use, and how to create your own. In-depth review of example rituals including Ritual of Transition, Collaring, Release, Daily Mantras, etc.
Slave Training 101 – Foundations
This workshop provides a very practical look at slave training in M/s relationships. Regardless of your living situations, gender or sexual preferences, there are any number of assignments and training processes that often occur in any power exchange relationship. Specifically targeted for those looking to explore power exchange as M/s and Owner/owned dynamics. We will cover a variety of skills including negotiation, self-inventory, assignments, tasking, and a variety of conditioning methods.
Submission & Faith
How do we view someone’s faith in another and develop trust in submission? Trust can’t always be earned, for there must be a start, an initial extension of trust without proof. That’s where a personal sense of faith comes in, through that moment to choose to trust. In this session we explore these concepts with submission as choice, as gift, as expression of trust, a result of training, etc.
Scenes & Activities
*projector requested unless otherwise noted
Aftercare for All
Aftercare is often discussed as a need many bottoms or subs have after a scene, but often leaves out the needs of the Top or Dom. This workshop explores how everyone should address aftercare for all involved, and in the many ways that may can differ from person to person. Partners not required.
Designing a Scene
A scene can have many purposes, and as such the variety in a given scene can be highly diverse. Looking for a soothing sensual experience, primal and animalistic, artistic and creative, or lustfully indulgent? This is a discussion suitable for all to generate ideas regarding designing and setting up a scene to go with your intent, your ideas. We’ll address elements like planning, sensory engagement, environment, connection, direction, pacing, transitions and adjusting.
Flogging from the Ground Up
Improve your flogging technique by learning how to use ground force and the kinetic chain. This class will teach you single and double (Florentine) flogging techniques to significantly improve endurance and force. Be prepared with practical exercises and bring your floggers with you. Partners are not required, but would be helpful. Interactive: class requires space for participants to practice a variety of techniques. Projector not required.
Going Primal – Rrawwr!!
Get your blood pumping and your heart racing as we explore the intensity of Primal as both play and state of being. Understand why it Primal play produces such intensity, how it impacts us physically and emotionally, and techniques to make your engagement more dynamic and enjoyable. We’ll talk about engaging the primitive mind, elements of D/s and the Hunter/Prey model, and stimulating the visceral and sensual experience. Interactive: class requires space for participants to practice a variety of techniques.
Impact from the Ground Up
We’ll be looking at impact techniques by learning how to use ground force to get more umph with less effort. Explore the variety of options with impact focusing on using your arms, hands, and body. Be prepared with practical exercises and bring your impact toys with you if desired. Interactive: requires space for attendees to practice with a partner. Wrestling/take-down mats helpful if available. Projector not required.
Power of the Pause
Sometimes more can be too much; from pain thresholds to over stimulation, our bodies and brains need a break! Learn how to use the principles of delay, silence, white space, and inaction can intensify your play and increase pleasure. Interactive exercises will help you to learn tactics and tools that resonate for you and that can be applied in both short and long term relationships. Because it’s not about getting off… it’s about staying on! Partners are helpful for some of the exercises, but not required.
Humiliation has several purposes; this one goes right for the throat by exploring “cruel & unusual” ways to torture your submissive for punishment or personal enjoyment. For the ethically evil, creatively chaotic, and mischievously minded – and their adoring victims.
Seizing Control with Joint Locks and Pressure Points
Whether you enjoy taking physical control, pain-play, take-downs, or primal, knowing exactly where and how to place force can make all the difference. This workshop will be an interactive partnered session to review the use of pressure points and joint locks to create maximum effect with a minimum of effort. Use it for subtle purposes to “insist” on obedience, to intensify play experiences, or to create situational predicaments. Definitely for those that enjoy torturing (or being tortured by) their partners. Interactive: class requires space for attendees to practice with a partner. Wrestling/take-down mats helpful if available. Projector not required.
Sexual Objectification & Training
There are lots of ways to enjoy the benefits of sexual objectification training. You can see it as part of the bimbo/fucktoy subculture, as a sex slave, as a sexual party favor, in primal dominance/submission, etc. Learn about the draw, methods of training & conditioning, and the enjoyment of sexual objectification.
Wait for It! – Control with Denial and Delay
Artfully applied control is really at the heart of total power exchange dynamics. This session will explore the ways denial and delay can be used to intensify the experience in the dynamic without becoming damaging to the relationship.
Communication & Connection
*projector requested unless otherwise noted
BDSM Social Etiquette
New to BDSM, its culture, its events? Confused by social cues, customs, and unspoken rules? Come join us for a workshop on how to mix, mingle, and socialize without faux pas and (unnecessary) pain. The goal is to help you interact without offending, minimize drama, and preserve both dignity and respect of all involved. Meant to be interactive, speculation and questions welcome & encouraged!!
The nature of connection varies between any two people, for any purpose, for any duration in time – yet is still a relationship. All relationships involve an exchange, which is often built on our presumptions of context, need, value, and form. It is imperative that we move away from presumptions and become more proactive in exploring and consciously defining the type of connection we are creating. This workshop will discuss the nature of Connection; provide tips in becoming more aware of the connections we are making, and exercises to improve connection with others.
Connection Through Touch
We all recognize the power of touch is important, but we often default to familiar ways of touching without realizing all the options available to us, how they affect us differently and how to use them. This powerful workshop will examine different modes of touch to communicate, listen, and “color” the exchange. Interactive: partners not required but preferred; can be adjusted for spontaneous pairing;
A huge key to a happy & successful life in how we communicate. As social creatures, our ability to interact with and understand others is paramount to working within any society or community. This workshop explores effective communication techniques, building communication skills, non-violent communication, and working to improve key challenges you may be experiencing. Partners not required.
Negotiation & Consent 101
We often think about consent as giving our Yes or No to someone, but how do you get there? This workshop focuses on the nature and art of Negotiation as a collaborative effort between parties with a focus on creating the best experiences and relationship for happiness and satisfaction.
Negotiation Skills 201
Critical to the BDSM lifestyle is our ability to negotiate scenes and elements in our relationships. Expressing our desires and limits, their degrees and possible consequences is important to building a foundation of trust and understanding between parties. This workshop is a practical skills development class designed to improve your ability to negotiate a scene. Partners not required.
Mindfulness & Awareness
*projector requested unless otherwise noted
Living the lifestyle requires balancing the demands of real life and the desires within the relationship. There are always competing demands on our time, resources, attention, and focus. This discussion will look at ways to think about our roles, dynamics, and competing priorities and help resolve conflicts between them.
Commitment Changes Everything
When we think of the word commitment, most readily leap to the association of long term relationships. However, commitment can be in the moment from a blink of the eye to spanning decades. This workshop will discuss the nature of commitment, what stops us, and how to better empower your decisions, actions, and get the response you’re looking for.
The greatest challenge we face daily is acknowledging and understanding the influence of our Fears. It is widely acknowledged that the vast majority of our pain and trauma is how we experience fear, and in turn is reflected in our behavior and attitudes. This talk will discuss the concept of vulnerability, how we can disarm much of its influence by learning to acknowledge it, and how to address vulnerability for better decisions and actions.
Each of us are multi-faceted beings with aspects that drive us to act, respond, reach out or withdraw. Each of us is influenced by a variety of “inner forces” with respective needs, wants, and fears. Some call them facets, totems, or their inner counsel. This workshop will help you to put a name & voice to these forces, understand them, and thereby get a better understanding of what motivates and influences us.
Invisible Abuse in D/s & M/s
D/s and M/s relationships may be types of power exchange dynamics, but what kind of power exchange is healthy versus damaging? While it can depend on each individual, there are some common markers in toxic and abusive power exchange. This class will help you identify potential red flags to protect yourself, understanding the manipulation and tactics of emotional/psychological abuse, and learn to trust your instincts so you can get out safer, sooner.
Labels are for Soup Cans
Labels are used so extensively in the lifestyle, but they tend to be stagnant things with significant limitation. People on the other hand are much more dynamic, multifaceted and ever changing – far more than any one definition. This class will examine the use of labels in the lifestyle, how using labels can be self-limiting, and how the tendency of reductionism does not serve our community or ourselves.
Far too often, a problem in communication results in defending yourself with “but that’s not what I meant”. The purpose of this workshop is to examine how all action may start with the best Intent, but needs to accept the reality of unintended Consequences. We will discuss tools that can help you quickly accept that what you intended isn’t necessarily the most important thing, seeing the consequence, and managing the outcome.
Principles & Values
Our world view and principles often defines how we see and interact with the world. We use these often without knowing it, impacting how we set limits; conduct relationships; and engage in every day decision making. This workshop uses a series of short exercises to help you to explore and learn more about your internal compass and what influences your decisions. No partner is needed for this workshop.
React or Respond
At a given any situation, we are presented with a moment where we just react, without time to deliberate. But is this really the case?? This workshop will explore the emotional illusion of time, and improve our chances to make the right decision, versus how we might reflexively react, in the hopes of producing better outcomes.
Self-Defense: Aware & Prepared
The goal of this workshop is to give you some basic tips for being able to defend yourself starting with spotting warning signs and thinking ahead. This focuses on developing situational awareness, assessing body language & behavior, defusing a potential situation, and defending your boundaries. Discussion is accompanied with practical exercises and demonstrations.
Sitting with Discomfort
So much of modern life is filled with knee-jerk reactions, hyper-emotionality, and spontaneous self-expression. But Why? Mostly because we’ve learned to react to things that make us uncomfortable with immediate short-term actions. The consequence is a highly-volatile world filled with intolerance, self-important messages, and lots of talking but very little listening or understanding of others. This class will review this trend, its root cause, and provide some exercises to help you sit with discomfort and give you the time to see clearly before making a choice you may regret.
Taming the Inner Brat
We all want what we want, when we want it, however it can be had. However, real life doesn’t work that way. Yet it’s all around us in TV programming and social media: the focus on instant gratification, short attention spans, a sense of entitlement, and the “tantrums” displayed when things don’t go our way. This workshop will how “behaving badly” is a part of a trend and which often undermines our relationships. Highly recommended for submissives facing the rising brat or resistance within themselves.
No matter what side of the slash you may be on, we are all facing battles others know little about. Trying to keep ourselves confident, healthy and balanced isn’t an easy feat. Life always presents us with challenging pasts and present stresses no matter who we are and where we go. No matter your role or dynamic, we’re human and are often dealing with anxiety, depressions, exhaustion, frustration, etc. This workshop will be a very open and transparent look at how we can manage despite our faults and moments of brokenness as learned from our personal experiences.
Your Kink is not My Kink
It should be obvious that not everyone is into the same thing. What’s less obvious is that our understandings or assumptions of our kink or relationship needs may not even be closely related. Learn about common kink variations, interpretations, and how to release your assumptions to come to a better understanding. In the end this will help you reduce possible mistakes and improve connection and by letting go and opening up.
Health and Wellness
*no projector required
Bondage and Floggers and BearClaws – Oh My
They feel good, but why? Beyond the neurochemicals that are released during these activities, bondage, impact and sensation activities stimulate the “Cinderella” tissue in your body – fascia – and this stimulation creates a bunch of physiological reactions that can affect your body in a variety of ways. This same tissue can also be responsible for some of the symptoms of sub and Dom drop and we’ll talk about that too. After covering a basic explanation of fascia, this workshop will explore different BDSM based ways to stimulate the fascial system to improve its function and recovery. Stimulation happens for both the Top and the bottom depending on the activity. What’s in it for me??? you might be asking. Healthy fascia is important for mobility, breathing, relief from back pain (as well as other aches and pains), proper pelvic floor function (think good sex for all genders) and it ties into your nervous and immune systems (among others).
Foot fetishist, fashion victim or just someone who wants to learn more about the amazing structures that get us where we want to go, this class has something for you. A quick look at the anatomy of the foot will be followed with hands on exploration (feel free to use a consenting partner’s feet or your own) to increase mobility and arches, rescue some sore little piggies, and maybe even some delightful ways to torment the toes. The explorations work best with bare feet. If you have a tennis ball or pinky rubber ball, these work particularly well for this class.
Fire Play – Courtesy of Mother Nature
There were No negotiations, no consent… but now you’re running hot and cold, your body is morphing into something you don’t recognize and your emotions are all over the shop. Welcome to the transition to menopause. No matter which side of the slash you identify with, this is one of those inevitable things that throws a twist into our lives. Since Mother Nature doesn’t accept safe words on this, find out what you can do in general life and in your play. Learn more about what’s really happening to you (or your partner) during perimenopause and then menopause – physically, emotionally, hormonally. This workshop will not only help you to survive the ride, but thrive and come out even stronger and happier on the other side!
Not Tonight, I have a Headache
Headaches aside, there are literally 100’s of reasons for people to lose their interest in sex including commonly prescribed medicines, underlying health concerns, natural aging process, and anxiety & stress (not that any of us would know about that). While it might be able to be brushed off as a once in a while occurrence, longer term changes in libido can be detrimental to a relationship if not recognized, discussed and addressed in a way that meets everyone’s needs. This class will look at:
- Common causes of loss of libido
- How to open discussions on the topic
- Ways of discussing needs without blame or guilt
- Suggestions for increasing intimacy without sex
- Where to find additional resources
Play Now Without Paying Later
What are the long term repercussions of play? If it doesn’t cause immediate injury, are we still setting ourselves up for problems down the road? I’m a top, what could be happening to me? Let’s face it, as much as we might wish it so, one day we will no longer be in our 20’s, but hopefully we’ll still be inhabiting our body. How can our play today impact the long term health of our body? While there isn’t a lot of research available on BDSM Play and long term health concerns, there is research from other traumatic (yes even if we enjoy it, our physical being might be experiencing trauma) events on the body. We’ll discuss play, research and then suggest some ways to assess and modify (if needed) your risk exposure. This class works best when attendees are open to sharing their concerns, experiences and maybe even getting some of their techniques looked at to improve play ergonomics.
Playing When Health is a Hard Limit
Your mind wants to play, but your body isn’t always cooperating the way you want it to. How can you bring the excitement back without risking your long term health and wellbeing? Whether you or a partner are dealing with chronic pain, neurological challenges, are a breast cancer survivor or are just not moving the same way you used to, this workshop will give you some new ideas and perspectives. Play topics will be focused primarily around impact, bondage and sensation topics. Specific challenges / limitations covered will be determined by the input of the class.
Poise and Grace – Aesthetic Movement in Service
Feeling comfortable in your skin and competent in your actions are crucial steps in making others comfortable and relaxed in your presence. If you identify as an “s” type the comfort and relaxation of your “D” or “M” type is usually something we strive to provide. This class is a practical, hands on class, for adjusting how we perform some basic movements – walking, sitting, standing, changing levels and basic serving actions to heighten the awareness of how they are performed and making them more visually appealing.
Rope, Does a Body Good
Interested in taking your scene to the next level? Enjoy longer play, reduced injury potential and maximize your enjoyment and movement. This workshop will teach you how to use rope to improve your strength and flexibility without the need for a partner. Learn exercises to that help you to avoid injury, manage pain and reduce your limitations. You will need a length of rope that is at least 8 feet long (softer fiber rope – eg nylon – may be more comfortable for this purpose). Clothing that allows you to move freely is helpful. Several of the exercises will involve lying on the floor (if you want to bring a towel or mat with you).
Self Care from bottom to Top – Con Care for all
Whether it’s a corset, stilettos, heavy toy bag or throwing your floggers, whips and canes – our bodies go through a lot during a con. Over 100 muscles in the body change the way they work as soon as we put on a pair of heels, never mind when we have that corset cinched or have just finished flogging, rigging or otherwise participating in a great scene or 10. Learn what you can do before, during and after your play and dress up to help your body not just survive the con experience, but feel great every day. We’ll start at your feet and work our way all the way through your body. If you have a tennis or similarly sized rubber ball, bring it along with you. Wearing clothing that allow for comfortable movement will make the class more enjoyable for you.
Self Care for Fetish Fashionistas
What really happens to your body in a corset or stilettos? Over 100 muscles in the body change the way they work as soon as we put on a pair of heels, never mind when we have that corset cinched! Learn what you can do before and after your time in your favourite heels or corset to minimize long-term effects on your body, as well as make your time in your best outfit feel as great as you look. Exercises to prevent issues, relieve tension and restore natural biomechanics will be taught. Please wear something you will be comfortable moving in, bring or wear a pair of socks and bring a tennis or rubber pinky ball with you if you have one.
Service – What is it and Why do People Crave it
This class will look at what service is and what it means to many in the BDSM lifestyle. When we think of service our minds tend to go certain places on the service spectrum: domestic, administrative, sexual and waitstaff based services all come to mind quickly and usually are focusing on the right side of the slash. Often forgotten are the service contributions from the left side of the slash as well as looking at what drives people from both sides of the slash to want to serve. All of these areas will be covered and discussed with interactive exercises to help you learn more about your feelings towards service and what you might be looking to receive from serving or being served.
What to do when one partner needs to be seated due to health or physical limitations. Sometimes this means a partner is in a wheelchair, other times having a person playing seated can be helpful to those with joint problems, balance issues, or for people who need to use assistive mobility devices. This class will look at options primarily for impact and sensation play. Variations for both the top and the bottom will be discussed and demonstrated. Attendees are encouraged to share their challenges if we don’t cover that situation and we look forward to hearing solutions that have worked for you as well.
Stretching Your Limits
Having your ability to move and breathe restricted can be lots of fun when included as part of play, but when your body’s limitations are the cause of the restrictions, it tends to limit your options and cause unintentional pain. This workshop is designed to teach you how to easily improve your flexibility at key joints, without compromising the body’s structure, stability or increasing your risk of injury. Exercises from a variety of modalities will be taught to help you expand your body’s movement potential. A bath size towel is helpful, but not required. Some exercises will use a partner. Please wear something you will be comfortable moving and laying on the floor in.
Working Out the Kinks – Flexibility for the Mobility Impaired
Learn an effective and restorative workout for the body with a focus on mindful movement. Moving from the deepest muscles of the body outward will help you restore range of movement, improve alignment and joint stability while improving strength and neuromuscular connections. This workout is suitable for participants of a variety of fitness and mobility levels and variations will be suggested to adapt exercises to your personal needs. Please bring a bath towel and wear something you will be comfortable moving in and bring or wear a pair of socks.
The submissive’s Voice
*no projector required
Asking – and Why it’s so Scary
Many submissives have a problem asking for what they need or want. It took me a long time to be able to do this in my personal life, even though I’ve never had a problem with expressing my needs in my career. When first entering the D/s lifestyle, I found it even harder to ask for what I needed or wanted because I thought it meant I wasn’t “submissive enough”. The goal of this workshop is to help you learn more about yourself and your needs and wants and be able to effectively communicate these with your partner.
- Why we need to be able to ask for what we need and want.
- When to express these needs to our Dominant or Master for the best outcome.
- What it is we are really looking for.
- How to ask.
- What happens if the answer is No?
- How to avoid feeling taken advantage of in; or resentful of; the power exchange dynamic.
Baring Your Back(bone) – Strength in Submission
You’re an independent person; smart, competent, driven and oh yeah, submissive. How can this be? Strong submissive might seem like an oxymoron, but it can actually work out really well if you let it. While it can be a challenge at times to maintain your sense of self and still submit, there are many ways to succeed and thrive in a D/s relationship. Some topics being covered are:
- What’s the difference between being proactive, service topping, and topping from the bottom?
- Are you offering your services to your Dominant or Master because you like to serve or is your inner control freak coming out?
- How to do what is best for your Dominant or Master, even if it’s not what They may want.
- What happens when you disagree?
- Are you and your partner a good fit?
Please note that if your ideal dynamic involves being micromanaged, this workshop might not be the best fit for you.
Exploring Consent from the Right Side of the Slash
Consent – sometimes it’s easy to negotiate and sometimes it’s not. When you know you’re going to be negotiating a scene, you can get into the right headspace to state your boundaries and limits and feel comfortable in the negotiations…but what about all the other times consent issues come up?
- The challenges of online communities
- A stranger touches you without asking
- Someone you are friendly with socially, assumes more contact than you are comfortable with
- Someone makes comments or advances towards you that make you uncomfortable
In addition to discussing the challenges of these and other situations, we’ll use exercises to gain practice handling ourselves in them and talk about ways of dealing with the aftermath of consent violations.
Gift of Imperfection
Are you a submissive or slave who loves to please others? Do you hate to hurt another person or feel that you’ve displeased them? Is your internal dialogue comparing yourself or your actions against perfection or just “the best you can do”? If you can answer yes to any of these questions, this workshop is for you. Perfection is a myth and trying to live a myth can be draining at best and destroy your self esteem, relationship and chance of finding happiness at worst.
- Learn to recognize when your inner voice is setting you up for failure.
- Translate the negative self-talk into constructive action.
- How to be the best you can be with the resources you have at hand today.
- How being honest with yourself and your Dominant / Master about your limits, resources and abilities can be more rewarding than trying survive being the “super sub”.
Keep the U in Schedule
“I’m bored” says no service, pleaser or “s-type” ever. If anything , many of us who identify this way have a hard time not overextending themselves for finding the time for needed self care. As a group, we will be discussing the challenges of creating priorities, dealing with conflicting needs, determining limits and resources and sharing tips and solutions that have worked.
Little Details – Big Impact
Whether you are looking for something new for a special occasion, trying to expand your service skills or are tasked with finding new ways to make High Protocol Nights special, this workshop is designed to give you some new ideas. Decorative napkin folding, towelgami, special service ideas and other finishing touches will be discussed, shown and given hands on practice time. Please bring a bath towel with you to this class.
Pampering Your D or M Type on a Budget
Pam-per – to indulge with every attention, comfort, and kindness; spoil…Service s-types often are thinking of domestic chores, administrative duties and sexual service as normal parts of their routine and responsibilities of their role in a D/s or M/s relationship. High Protocol, Formal Tea Service and full service nights (or days or weekends) are lots of fun and help to keep the dynamic alive, but many people don’t have either the time or financial capital to make this a regular occurrence or one that feels new and special. This class will focus on simple ways that you can pamper your partner in small doses without a large financial or time investment. Get some fresh ideas on how to fit this kind of service into your relationship. Learn some new skills to add to your repertoire and jump-start your imagination on new ways to surprise and please your partner.
Slave Postures for Health and Happiness
Slave postures are often part of a power exchange relationship, be it a 24/7 TPE relationship or a way to deepen your connection when things aren’t to that point yet. For those not currently in a relationship, the postures can be a way to maintain a connection to this side of their personality and provide a kinesthetic sense of structure. This class will focus on the postures from the point of view of the right side of the slash. Looking at why the postures foster a submissive mindset and (how they can make you feel downright sexy). What some of the commonly used postures are and what they represent. A series of postures will be taught with transitions between each posture. Practiced in a slow and controlled fashion, this series is a nice workout for your whole body (not to mention mind and soul). If you would like to participate, wear clothes you are comfortable moving in and if you have movement restrictions a beach or bath towel is suggested for some modifications.
Staying Submissive – Maintaining Your Mindset When Things Go Off Course
It happens to the best of relationships, sometimes the dynamics just get out of whack. Some people say “life gets in the way”, but if you are trying to maintain a D/s or M/s dynamic, that is a big part of your life, so how do you work around the problems of work demands, financial issues, health complications? What can you do when your D or M type isn’t able to provide Their emotional / psychological part of the dynamic for a period of time? Frustrated, depressed, maybe even angry, how can you express your feelings and needs without acting out, lashing at your partner or giving up? Learn strategies to communicate effectively, assess and maintain your resources, create a support system and recognize and accept your limitations. Look at your priorities, needs and boundaries and explore if they are in agreement or working against each other. Share your coping strategies and learn from others.
sub/slave Prep School
What’s a sub or slave to do when trying to “better” themselves, either for a current Dom or Master or when unowned ? How can we use our “s” tendencies to help us become more focused, proactive and pleasing? This class will look at common behaviors and how we can make changes to take them to the next level of refinement. Ideas on how to fine tune appearance, public behavior and communication skills will be covered. Exercises to help you decide what aspects you would like to change and then some ways to work towards these changes will make the class interactive. We will also look at the common motivators of personal change – to make ourselves happy, to make someone else happy and / or to attack someone else into our life.
Other Workshop Topics
*no projector required
Connection Through Latin Dance
Latin dance relies on the hands and eye contact for the main conduits of communication between partners. Because the points of connection are smaller in these dance styles than the smooth ballroom styles, there is a different level of focus and connection between the partners. Leaders will learn to communicate intention and control and followers will improve their abilities to respond and act all while learning some sexy Latin style ballroom dance steps. Great for those who have never danced as well as those looking for new tricks to intensify their connections. If you come without a partner we will allow time to see if there anyone else needing a partner for the class, but it is not guaranteed.
Fetish Fashion 101
Platforms, stilettos, ballet boots, corsets and more. How to decide what to buy, how to wear it and sometimes, how to walk in it. Why can one pair of 6 inch heels be so much easier to walk in than another pair? What’s the difference between different styles of corsets and which one is best for you? What’s the best way to lace a corset? Comparisons, demonstrations, and hacks to make life more comfortable will be provided. Have a wardrobe piece you are having a problem with? Bring it with you and let’s see what options we can figure out.
Power Exchange and Communication Through Ballroom Dance
Learn new communication skills and experience a power exchange at a totally different level while you pick up new moves to show off on the dance floor. The roles of leader and follower are both of equal importance in a successful partnership, but the responsibilities of each are very different. Whether you think you have 2 left feet or are ready to appear on “Dancing With the Stars”, you will have fun exploring relationship dynamics and communication through this non-traditional approach. If you come without a partner we will allow time to see if there anyone else needing a partner for the class, but it is not guaranteed. Dance options for this class include either – The Wicked Waltz, Flirtatious Foxtrot or the Titillating Tango
East Coast Swing with an S and M twist. Learn basic swing patterns and then explore how they can be safely converted to predicament play (among others). Laughter, yelps and interesting facial expressions are sure to ensue as the Tops lead and the bottoms submit. If you come without a partner we will allow time to see if there anyone else needing a partner for the class, but it is not guaranteed.. A good time to be had by all!!
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Last Updated: April 2018